things happen at their own pace around here. there is a lot of waiting. waiting for rain, waiting for plants to grow, waiting for better weather, waiting for fires to burn out, waiting to get paid, waiting to hear back from your senator or congressman, waiting for things to change.
while the attitude of manana mostly means you can just show up late to events, meetings, etc., there is another more nuanced understanding of manana. this understanding grasps the patience that accompanies the poverty, corruption, and the many social and political ills that have made the "land of enchantment" also the "land of entrapment." things don't change fast around here. some native american nations are still waiting for their land to be given to them as promised centuries ago.
here in silver city we await funding for public infrastructure projects to fix roads, build parks, improve schools, and foster better social structures for the poor, the sick, and the young and old alike. silver city is not unlike many small towns in america, really. there just happens to be a lot more deprived and needy folks around here that have been waiting for a lot longer than most americans.
as we gear up for a political season full of empty promises by politicians with empty souls, i am reminded how lucky i am to be doing the work that i do for americorps. i actually can say that the work i do directly impacts people, and that i have almost no personal gain out of the work that i do. i live at the same (if not lower) level of poverty as the many folks in my community that i help out, and i depend on them for their support and trust to get the work i am supposed to do done.
silver city is a place where people put their heart and soul into their work: whether its teaching children, growing food, saving the environment, fighting fires, or leading others towards a more healthy and sustainable life. it is possible this is how many small townspeople are, and i am amazingly blessed to be part of such a passionate community.
a recent blessing has fallen into my lap, thanks to the wonderful people of silver city. i have been offered the chance to stay here another year, for a consecutive term as an americorps vista. the grant for my new job still has to be written, submitted, approved, and enacted, but there has been a lot of buzz around the office lately that despite me being here six months now, it is already seeming too hard to let me go.
i am not sure i can let silver city go. this place is magical. there is a vibration that pulses through the lives of folks here that is inspiring and beautiful. my heart is wrapped up in the work that i do for the environmental non-profit i work for, so much so that i just can't say no to anything they ask of me.
i think back to a few months ago, and i was pretty sure then that i would be on my way come march, 2013. since then, i have been pulled into the tides of "please stays" and all the other undeserved compliments that have come along with all the pleas and wishes.
something has changed in me, where i see myself intrinsically linked to the happiness and success of the people here. this is more than i could have imagined as a sense of fulfillment for myself and my career, and really, the experience i have had here has grounded me to a simpler sense of self that i have long searched for. while my personal journey of fulfillment and contentment in life will be never-ending, living another year in silver city will fill me with life's joy and bliss that i am sure could not happen elsewhere.
i cannot thank enough the wonderous souls that have opened my heart and mind up in this way. i am so happy to accept the things that are most natural to me, and make a career and a home out of them... even if it is only for at least another year.
but that is the beauty, and the bane, of life, that manana has no more answers than today.
 |
| morning in the gila wilderness |
