it came from a home with two loving parents, the joy of being part of a family, and the adventures we had together...
it was the car rides. the picnics. the record player. the sprinkler. the dog. the rabbit. the fish. the swimming pool. the fields. the flowers. the berries. the mountains. the rainbows. the leaves. the snow. the sleds. the mud. the raincoats. the umbrellas. the fire. the sun. the days. the nights. the stars. the moon. the morning sunrise.
bliss finds itself nested in all beautiful moments. these memories i have of my childhood do not begin to tell the story of love, but therein lies moments of pure bliss... moments that regardless of time and place, will warm my heart and resound gentle and somewhat overwhelming waves of joy inside my chest.
bliss is finding love inside you. lets say that again: bliss is finding love inside you.
you take in a moment, it then becomes a memory. the wave of joy heats your heart, and kindles a distinct flavor of love. the moment passes, but later, it still resounds... bliss heats you up. it burns you. so much so, that the fire it lights is so passionate and bright that no one can ignore its light. you are a beacon of love and joy, as you send out the rays of that beautiful, blissful, memory.
much, oh so much, has happened. this blog is a terrible excuse for recording desperate memories of my time in silver city... i do know this. all that was is, and all that is, has been. its a circle, this funny process of growth, personal development, and such. you never get too far off from where you started.
i started out a little over a year ago in a very different, but very much the same place. details abstained (i will save you the time of hearing about needless life dramas), i am so happy now. so, so, SO HAPPY.
so happy it hurts.
today i started my annual ritual of making my friends and family christmas cards, by hand. i love this process, each card takes about 20-30 minutes (feel special, dear recipricants ;) ), but each is different, special, and tailored to the recipricant. this process took me down memory lane.. i remembered each person on my christmas card lists' impact on me, their solid friendship over the years, and their happy memories that they have left with me.
as hard as it to live out in the southwest corner of new mexico, i have to admit, i am gladly enchanted... there is no place like this, no place as unique, warm. and loving... SO MUCH LOVE, it can make you crazy.
in understanding the recent personal drama i've undergone, i explained to a friend: "that's just it, i think we love each other too much here." ....as if it were a bad thing, but i have known that the love that keeps you so happy, can also make you crazy, if not sick inside.
i am happy to say that the love that i knew as crazy, sick, and maddening has actually transformed itself into something joyful again. i have some regret for the darker side of life that i meandered into, lost as i was and tired of battling my heart for peace. i did choose disruption, selfishness, and sadness as my crutches for dealing with daily life. what a mistake i made.
thank the sun, moon, and every star in between for the realness of REAL, TRUE love. those things will take over your heart, no matter your location, your sense of place, or even personal space. i am so happy that we are here, living, breathing, and loving this earth more than we ever have before.
thank you, dear friends and family, you make me complete. your joy, love, and happiness is what i need to keep moving, growing, and sharing with this world.
delicious sunset over the mimbres |